First month of the year and it’s been swell. Not too long ago, I indulged myself in the hustle and bustle of the city of Hong Kong. It was adventurous and lovely. We were brought around the city with a few friends who not only knows how to have a good time, but also has a knack for spinning awesome tracks. Spending time with my family was a great get away for myself, as there seemed to be a lack of me time last year. The memory of visiting Lamma Island is still fond.
Time was slowed down. Days went by without me realising and I was at peace. I was at peace because I was away from a place where responsibilities and feelings were attached. And I found myself wondering, what if one day I moved here for good? Perhaps start a new life, a new career, a new me. What if one day I just uprooted myself and leave? I won’t have to wonder of the what ifs that lie here, for there will be no choice.
But then came the arguing points as to why I’ve never acted this out. I’m too attached. There’s too many things here I’m afraid to let go off. Too many people, too many memories. With the recent happenings, how can I leave now? I used to say I’d keep memories in clear glass jars where I can always look back and whisk myself away. What if one day when I whisk myself away to a new life, I’ll also wish away those jars? What if that really happened and a chance arises for me to reopen the jars and turn it back into reality ? Is it then, that I am selfishly selfish for stopping myself from bringing myself further?
So, what now? I don’t know. I don’t know where this year will lead me. And I truly have no solid plan. However, I do have an inkling of new projects that await me which I am extremely excited about.
2015 was an accomplishment. And I am proud to have survived performing for Esya, ‘The Musical’, choreographed for Edelweiss, ‘The Musical’, performed and learned some handy tricks from Spartan, performed for freelance dance jobs, and still manage to juggle my studies between all these happenings.
Emotionally, I am still finding. Perhaps 2016 will be the year where I can say I have both chaos and stability that coexist perfectly well.
Happy New Year, darlings. And here’s to one heck of a year.