It has been so hectic lately that I hardly get the time to open up my laptop, sit down with a flask of hot tea and biscuits, and write. As of now, I’m using the computers in my college library, filling up my free period by entertaining myself with social media. I should be studying for my finals coming up. But that’s beside the point.
As usual, I scrolled through my Facebook news feed and decided to read up on an article that interests me from Elite Daily, titled ’24 Things A Girl Will Always Secretly Miss About Her Ex-Boyfriend’.
This line popped up,
“You don’t need a man, but it’s certainly nice to have one.”
Hands down, I agree. And I speak for all single ladies.
Independence is something I believe that each woman should have. To not fully rely and depend on others is a skill concerning our minds and emotions that takes practice throughout the years to be developed. I believe it is essential to be strong on your own before taking care of others. Would you not drag the other person from drowning if you yourself do not have the capabilities of a strong swimmer to save the other?
Similar to relationships, having to constantly lean against the pillar (partner) isn’t going to sustain the roof that the relationship is holding up. One side will fall, resulting a damaged roof and a place full of rubble. It is better to be a concrete pillar on your own, supporting the other pillar at the same time to lift up the roof together as one. That is when mutual support, encouragement and understanding comes in.
To those that are single, *and all you single ladies put yo hands up!*, you don’t need a man. What you need is independence.
Strength, independence and confidence comes from within, and all these will be projected and magnified through you, surpassing all physical beauty till the point where true beauty- beauty that is inside each of us composing of mentality and virtues, will be all that is left. Raw and fearlessly naked it is, shown to the rest of the world.
‘You don’t need a man’ does not mean you don’t need anybody. Everybody needs somebody. It just means that you don’t need a man to be your main source of comfort and happiness. You have God for that to be there to provide for you and you have yourself. You’ve been living with yourself over the past years of your life without the significant other perfectly fine, surely you can survive without them. It also does not simply mean that you hate men or are just playing hard to get because all men are evil for they are heart breakers. Well, there are some that are, but there are those that are worth giving a shot.
The line ‘you don’t need a man’ only means one word, and yes it is that word that just crossed your mind.
That’s all there is to it. It means you are capable of taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. You pay for your own rent on time and you know how to get your spirits up when you’re down without constantly having to run back to your man seeking for comfort. Your heart is on fire and you strive to achieve your goals every day, living each day as if it was your last. That is what it is meant to be strong, confident, and independent woman.
It would be a lie to say that I forever and always do not want a relationship at all, because deep down I do. I think it is beautiful the way a relationship works and how in the end it develops itself into lifelong companionship where you have the security that there will always be a person who loves and cares. He becomes your pillow to cry on, and the handy man to fix your toilet. It is difficult to always see couples together having lovey dovey relationships. It makes me jealous. Most of all, it makes me wonder why don’t I have that type of relationship with anyone? I have come to the conclusion that it is not the right time in God’s grand life plan for me, but I do know that if I were to have a lasting relationship in the future, I do need need to work on my own independence. Then only will I be able to support my future love, right?
Perhaps one day, and I do sincerely hope that all us single ladies, will meet a man that is The One for us. A man that will not feed his ego believing in such that having a damsel in distress type of girlfriend would make him the hero and boost his masculinity, but rather a man that sees our independence not as stand off-ish, but as beauty and confidence.
It might seem like independence is a glass jar wrapped with metal that makes it impenetrable and unbreakable, but if you slowly and patiently unwrap it, you’d find that what’s inside is untamed and vulnerable. All it seeks is love.