That Special Person Stuck in the Feels

As per usual, me and my friend (more like a sister from another mother) began to chatter away in the car as she drove me back home. I sat next to her at the passenger seat while listening to her stories about her dear boyfriend. Although she sometimes complain about his incompetence of meeting her expectations as to how a boyfriend should be, I could tell deep down she loved him very much even though she’d often be surprised at herself at how long they’ve been going strong together. I love listening and talking to her when we exchange stories. It somewhat makes life a tad bit more like a story than a boring routine, as if there really is something more out there to explore.

One of the many things we discussed was how there would always be that one special person of the opposite gender who will forever have that special place in our hearts. He or she may not be your lover, or you may not be in love with that person, but they still stay there right in the feels where you know you love them wholeheartedly. Somehow you know that no one could ever take their place or be a shadow of them. Perhaps the things that you have been through together with them was a period of time that impacted your life, changed you in some ways, paved the way till your current future, or maybe even shaped your perception into the very person you are right now. Carefully, you store the small, brief memories you have of each other in a clear glass jar filled with aromatic flowers where you place them on the top shelf within your heart. Time to time you clean those shelves and you stumble upon this now dusty jar. Blowing off the specks of dirt, you see yellowed pages of memories that you have long kept since last time. What really shocks you would be how nice smelling the inside of the jar and letters are when you gently take them out to read back. With just one whiff of the scent, you feel yourself traveling back to the place and time of it where you can feel your surroundings and hear every sound. You feel happy and content because it still remains with you in the same sweet condition you left it. Basically, it feels like you haven’t lost anything.

It may be your first love, or that special friend who helped you get through a really terrible phase of your life, or that person who’s always looked out for you even when you didn’t know they were. But whatever it is, you acknowledge that you receive the love and support that no one could give in the same way and no one will ever be able to beat them to it because they are different. And it’s okay even though they just remain in your heart and not actively present in your daily life because you understand that they have intertwined in your life for the better previously. Closing your eyes, you hold onto these loving memories because once upon a time they actually put your needs ahead of theirs and loved you.

I do have someone that holds a place in my heart and I do believe each of us does. As iisuperwomanii would say, they are the curry stain that just won’t go away. Oh, no. To me, they are more like carvings engraved onto us, visible like a scar or a tatoo. A beautiful one I’d say. One I intend to keep for the rest of my days.


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